08 September 2013

Eton's filthy strawberry mess

Want something thigh-slappingly irresistable & wickedly satisfying? Of course you do.
In that case, let me introduce you to classic Mr. Eton...


He's notorious for leaving a mark across every British household & wrecking havoc with his scrumptious mighty mess, ensuring that he's never forgotten. 
Yet despite all of this, Mr. Eton has earned himself quite a reputable name amongst the British & continues to be a bit of a crowd pleaser...especially amongst the ladies.

Now he likes to keep it old school when it comes to wooing the ladies & sweeping them off their feet. In fact, he's such a pro at reeling them in, he's built up an impressive stack of male admirers too. Cheeky chappie.



To get your own ravishing piece of Eton in your life, grab a whisk & some strawberries...it's time to whip this badboy into shape!


Eton's filthy strawberry mess:
4 medium-sized meringue nests
300ml tub of double cream for whipping
1 heaped tablespoon of vanilla-infused sugar
1 tablespoon of light brown sugar
250g fresh, juicy strawberries

Optional: crushed chocolate-covered almond biscuits & almond flakes to sprinkle on top for extra decadent indulgence. 

Grab yourself x4 dessert bowls worthy of Mr.Eton's delicious goods & set them aside for serving up later. 

Begin by plucking your box of juicy 'ol strawbs & giving them a good wash to see off any nasty devils that may be lurking about.



Snatching a knife, start to chop up your strawberries into the perfect size for chomping on. I tend to quarter my strawberries & then sliver each piece in half again.

There's nothing worse than spending your precious moments alone with Eton, distracted by trying to chow down on big-ass chunks of fruit. Likewise, if the strawbs are too tiny, they practically mush into nothing & it just becomes a cream party in a cup. 


No doubt delicious but it's the full eton monty we're aiming for here!


Next up, it's time to get the sugar mashing together with these beautifully sliced babies. Measure out your sinfully sweet brown sugar & mix it in with your fruit. 
Then, measure out 1 heaped tablespoon of caster sugar, or vanilla-infused sugar if you're feeling extra outrageous & add it to your fruity mix.
Leave this to one side to macerate whilst you introduce your whisk to the cream.





Pour your double cream (or Elmea if you're a saint) into a separate bowl & get your whisk at the ready to whip up a creamy, fluffy concoction.





 This step shouldn't take long at all...you're looking for a sea of snowy peaks with a consistency that's thick but still soft.




If you're a darling, it's time to crack out the special little meringue cases you made earlier. If you're far too much of a busy gal to indulge in such nonsense, like me (ahem), then Sainsbury's do a crackin' set all ready, set & raring to mingle. Delightful.

No-body will be any the wiser & who are you to correct them in light of your laziness?




It's time to get smashin'. 
Pick up your perfectly swirled nests & poised elegantly above your bowl of cream, shmoosh them into crumbly, crunchy smithereens...




Airy chunks for texture & fine white golden dust for a naughty sugar buzz on the tongue. Magnífico.



Stir it in carefully.

Pick up your bowl of syrupy strawberries & in the pretty little dessert bowls you picked out earlier, ladle out about 2/3 of your fruity mix into the bottom of each bowl. 

Leave behind the last 1/3 - this will be acquainted with your velvety, meringue-y mix fairly shortly.



Tip the last remaining 1/3 of your strawberries into the cream mix & give it one or two light stirs so that you're left with plummy ribbons of colour bursting through the cream.

Time to pause & marvel at the berry-spiked yumminess...




Look at the strawberries oozing their sweet juices all around their silky, crispy blanket. 

Spoon a chubby dollop of the whipped cream mix into each serving bowl so that the fruity compote at the bottom is slathered in a wicked amount of the good stuff.


If you have any saucy strawberries still hanging about, pop them on top, ensuring to drizzle over any juice so that it soaks into the cream. Like so...



Now you could stop there & be perfectly satisfied by these cheeky morsels. 
However, like I've mentioned before, I'm just a bit selfish & wanted even more. Things were also looking far too healthy for my liking... 

Such a scallywag.

Cue the chocolate smothered almond biscuits. For me, the combination of rich, milky chocolate with sweet, succulent fruit is just glorious.
I popped a couple of these biscuits into my pestle & mortar & went to town... 


Sprinkle the crunchy biscuit dust on top of the bowls, & suddenly eton's strawberry mess is transformed into something truly filthy.


If you're feeling particularly naughty & the sun is gracing you with her flighty presence, then why not fold in a good splash of Pimms or dust the top of yours with a showering of flaked almonds. 
After all, Britain is renounced for its' showers.

Serve up Eton's raging mess with a stonkin' cuppa tea to embrace your true inner Brit or dish up with a big jug of something equally sinful & lovely.

Simple, fresh, delicious & whipped up in a cinderella-style flash.


Mr. Eton is cooing my name & I'm more than happy to oblige to his hails. I suggest you do the same.

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