29 October 2014

One Lovely Blog

So I was nominated by the beautiful & talented Polly Bartlett for the 'One Lovely Blog' award which I have to say whacked a great big cheesy grin on my face on a somewhat unexciting & drizzly day. For that reason alone, I would like to say a gigantic gracias to you Polly as it has made my day & I'm honoured that you chose thepoachedsalmon as one of your nominations! 



For anyone who needs to take a cheeky five minutes to chill out & unwind from a hectic working morning, definitely go & peruse Polly's blog - it's a delightful little gem & her recent tutorial on rockin' a halloween skeleton face had me nearly falling off my chair....is it even possible for someone to look so beaut whilst working a half bloodied face?! Darn it.

Being a nosy & curious lil' one, I decided to get my fins tappin' on the keyboard & fish around for some more background on this award! This award is a chance for bloggers to reach out & praise one another on their efforts & basically is a fabulous way of getting a lil' nosy & seeing what everyone behind the screens & words are all about! The nominee answers the questions that the nominator has chucked at them & then proceeds to ask a few questions themselves to blogs that they feel are a delight to read! Simplez & a lovely way to make new & upcoming bloggers feel all warm & fuzzy inside!
It seems there's a few different styles of the award floating around including reeling off 7 different facts about yourself but Polly has asked me a few questions which I'll get straight into answering now....!

What are your three favourite songs at the moment?
Oh what a horrid thing it is to have to narrow this down to just three! I swear this is the question that everyone groans at when it's asked but I'll put on my big girl pants & give it a crack...

1.) Henry Crinkle - Stay

2.) Taylor Swift - Shake it off (...as much as it pains me to admit) 
3.) One republic - I lived

Favourite movie of all time?
I've decided I don't like these 'narrow down to favourite' style questions as it makes such an indecisive person like me break out in unnecessary sweats! 
Can I have two? It's a toss-up between Transformers & Wolverine! Both films I had to trot off to the cinema to go see with my brothers as none of my friends were the least bit interested. They totally don't know what they're missing!

Heels or flats?
Being 5ft 1" (& quite possibly slightly under), I should definitely be shouting out heels here. If you'd asked me 3 or 4 years ago I absolutely would of said heels hands down. Now? Flats. Yes, it is because I'm lazy & a pansy when dealing with the pain of a 5" heel. Maybe this is my opportunity to man up & embark on a heedy flirtation with the heel again. They do (almost) make your legs look like Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's...

What are your opinions on feminism and why?

I'm not going to sugar-coat this or lie but I've never really dabbled in the debate on feminism despite it being a hugely important & much-discussed topic in the public eye. All I will say is that I do believe feminism is an incredibly important set of ideologies & views in defending the social, political & economic equal rights of woman & men & that its' expression is vital in enabling individuals to find their voice & live a life of measured truth. 

Your proudest moment?

I think my proudest moment to date happened a few weeks ago when my brother James finally got his named etched on the official scroll of Solicitors. I don't think I've seen anyone more determined & focused to make their work vision happen & whilst like anything there have been rocky moments, James hasn't once faltered in his path to succeed in law- even after slogging away for 6 years to get where he is. I take my top hat off to him & almost daily have to pick my jaw off the ground in awe of his passion for his work. My brothers are my utter inspiration & I only hope to succeed half as much as they both have. They're bloody troopers!

Phew! Those questions were actually a lil' tricky to answer as they each made me stop, think & rack my dusty brain a bit...let's just say, it hasn't been overly active in recent weeks & was starting to get a tad rusty. 

 I now nominate the insanely beautiful & talented Beth Norton. This gal always leaves me in giggles at her endless tweets about nut-butter & Booja-Booja ice-cream which I have to confirm is deeelish!

 My second nomination goes to the wondrous Stephanie Sherry. This beauty has an absolute heart of pure gold & is armed with a bucket of frank, honest & greatly inspiring advice that have kept my fins afloat many times!

I ask you two lovely girlies the following questions...

If you could change one thing in the World, what would it be & why?

Facial hair on a guy - yay or nay?

What is your happiest memory?

What are your top five favourite fashion trends?

Who inspires you the most & why?

If you could live anywhere in the World, where would it be?


 Hope you all have a lovely day!


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27 October 2014

If you've got it, haunt it!

Oh hello Halloween, you scandalous old friend! It’s back & ready to take another stab at a night of terror, creepy ghouls, deadly Dj’s & unmistakable mischief. We’ve all seen it, the good, the bad & the down right ugly & that one unfortunate year we’d like to forget. 



No judgement.
I'm going to take a wild guess & say you've left it till last minute to whack out an ingenious idea, right? Snap!
Always scurrying around at the last minute & plumping for the obvious bloody witch or skeleton, I've racked my brains & tried to come up with a costume that'll showcase your admirable creativity & witty imagination. You're welcome.
Keeping it fresh as usual: I've always known how to rock a costume

Rather than looking like the next candidate for ‘Snog, marry or avoid’ & undeniably falling into the latter category, it’s time to boot the over-cliched costumes & plump for something new, original & witty.
Prepare for a night of chills, thrills, belly laughs & bountiful guzzles of the hard stuff! Take a peep at my roundup of DIY getups:
1. Gold Digga'
Be a magpie & gather up everything shiny, gold & notoriously tacky you own & proceed to stick it all over yourself. Tight, metallic & utterly classy, it’s one way to crack a few witch cackles. To complete the look & ridicule the moneygrabbing morsels out there, raid your dads garage & saunter out with a shovel flung over your shoulder. Time to go dig.

2. Cereal Killer
It’s quick, easy & low maintenance. Chow down on your cereal collection as its time to take more than a bite out of your morning bowl of Special K. Cut out the empties & stick them to an old t-shirt you have lurking about. With a tube of fake blood, tomato ketchup or anything that’ll resemble a nasty case of butchery, squirt it all over the top. Mess up your face with some white face paint & slope out the door swinging a fake hammer or knife.



3. Miley Cyrus
Quite frankly, little attire & an insistent iguana tongue catching flies outside your mouth is all you’ll need to nail the Miley look. A creepy teddy bear on your back, your hair in two funky top knots & a partner in crime to dress as Robin Thicke & you’ll be rocking that wrecking ball all night long. Then proceed to twerk your way to shame.


Photo source:www.mu-43.com

Twerking: Great thigh & bum toner I'll have you know...
4. 50 Shades of Grey
Guy? Head out shirtless in some low slung jeans, a silk grey tie & a cheeky NDA print out in your back pocket. Playing the shy tease? Wrap yourself in a bed sheet like you’ve just scampered from your love shack, wrap a grey tie around one wrist & a pair of handcuffs on the other & head out with your bottom lip tucked within your teeth. Now, where’s the red room? If all else fails, head to B&Q & raid the colour shade charts.



5. Carlton Banks
Khaki chinos? Check. Crisp white shirt? Check. Wooly checked v neck jumper? Check. Stick a comb through your mop, sling your jumper over your shoulders, whack on your shiny dancing shoes & head out the door ready to shake them peacock hips & snap those happy hands. Do the mighty man of Bel Air proud. 
Forget Gangham style. Time to whack out…The Carlton dance.




6. Spice Rack
Preferably one that’s two sizes too big, fasten a bra to your outside attire & proceed to fill the gaps with a concoction of bottles from your mama’s spice cupboard. Voila. Simple yet hilariously effective.

7. Killer Deal
Head to Primarni & snap up a plain white tee. With a black marker pen, scribble “50% off original price” on the back & on the front, go to town with a variety of Sale signs. Taking some eyeliner, draw a barcode, £ sign or anything else money related on your face & finish by splashing some fake blood to seal the sweet deal.



8. Windswept 
A pretty amusing costume is the ever so sexy ‘windswept’ look and given the current climate, it’s easy to achieve. Have a gander through your recycling heap & collect anything from empty pizza boxes, newspapers, napkins, broken coat hangers, twigs. Grab some glue & stick these mismatched gems either to a casual outfit or an old suit. Pair with a briefcase, an inside out umbrella & a muddy face brushed with some bronzer & you’re already walking your way to a breezy winner.



Hopefully some of those have made you giggle your cobwebs away & have inspired you to get creative! Halloween may be inextricably overrated & waaaay overdone in the shops but let's be honest, it's the perfect night to let down your hair, forget the art of perfecting the blow-out & eyelash flick precision & the ultimate opportunity to indulge in some playful tomfoolery with an outfit perfected to pull a few funny bones! 



So tell me, what's your outfit of choice this Halloween?
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25 October 2014

Little Salmon swimming in new Waters

So I'm not going to lie, this year hasn't been all that fabby with a capital 'F' & whilst there have been the shy moments of shining hilarity, there's also been a lot of lost dorothy moments & my red glitter buckle shoes decided to vacay at the back of my wardrobe for much of it. 
Yet what has stuck through like blueberry bubblegum on the bottom of your new shoes is the brilliant & toe-tingling encouragement of my familia & amigos. They're like those pesky mosquitos that come part of the package when you go on holiday...you know the ones I'm chatting about, right? The ones that no matter what you do, even in the darkest moments of sheer desperation & a face full of red blotchy bites, will. not. bloomin'. go.away. Especially the mother mosquito. Yep, she's a persistent one that one. Love ya mama salmon! 


Without those mosquitos, yes you may actually be able to survive the horrors of waking up looking like a crawling disease but I bet you'll find you'd miss them. Say whaaaaat?
It's annoying as hell but you've got to admit that flailing about your villa like James Bond armed with a can of toilet freshener is secretly quite fun & the utter glory & swagger it leaves you when you've put one of those buggers in their place is like striking sheer gold! So amongst that unnecessary metaphor is a short & simple thank you to the friends & family who have picked me up & thrown me back into the murky uncertain waters when I've found myself floundering numerous times on the sandy shores. Through all the fun & games, I've suddenly found myself swimming into some new & exciting waters called....Couture Stories!


Couture Stories is a lifestyle magazine with an online blog aimed to bring young individuals doses of daily inspiration. It's aim is to motivate & dish up a bundle of beautiful-to-gawp-at features from the latest whimper-inducing stylish steals (no? Just me then...) or send your little noggins off for some daydreaming of incredible places across the waters!

I'm now a contributing writer for Couture Stories & currently working my little busy bee butt off to try & get as much experience as possible as a blogging intern! Oh that was so satisfying to write, you have no idea haha! 

Cheeky sneak peak at one of my fashion features!

So, if things get a wee bit quiet, eery & cow-web creating around here, then let me assure you it's not intentional...Oh no! It'll be because I'm flapping my fins over at Couture Stories! So my little comrades, if you're missing the witt & down-right ab-inducing sarcastic words of thepoachedsalmon, then just scamper along to Couture Stories to get your Salmon fix. You shan't be disappointed! 
(Don't fret pets, I'll still be sure to update this blog as frequently as humanely possible dahhhling!)
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12 October 2014

Those Happy Little Points

1. Being a top gal & blagging the award for The. Very. Best. Daughter to grace the planet by treating the 'ol mother hen to not one, but two bouquets of flowers. Halt the applause please, I wouldn't want to boast now. But I would like to mention that I have a rosette for that accomplishment, just sayin'.


2. Waking up on these recent chilly mornings bundled up all nice n'toasty, sipping a mug of hot fruity tea. Utterly purrrrfect. What would make the situation even more ideal would be if Alex Pettyfer was stretched out in his white Calvin's next to me. Guess it's a tough life. 
Damn.


3. By dear-Lord above I don't want to jinx this one so I shall keep all chitchat to a minimum but I may have just got myself a blogging internship with a brand-spankin' ready-to-launch blog! If all goes up stream & I find myself swimming the waters of being part of the team (keep your fingers & tootsies double-crossed for me) then I'll stop whispering about it in hushed secret. Prepare for me to burst out of my bubble gushin' all about this fab new blog & the pieces I will (hopefully) contribute.
Keep your eyes & ears peeled mis amigos!



4. All hail papa Salmon. Let's all take a moment to stop, put down our emergency Monday coffee-time chocolate biccies & take a pledge of silence for the faultless knowledge & common sense of our dear fathers. After Roxy decided yet again that she'd had quite enough of the daily bump & grind of the roads, dad whizzed to the rescue with mama in tow & talked the lil' madam outta her temper tantrum. I have to admit it was a bit touch & go at one point as Dad could of had two grouchy females on his hands. This was because about 30 minutes prior to Roxy throwin' her hissy fit in the carpark, I had just purchased two cartons of very much-wanted ice-cream. Let me tell you ladies & gentlemen, melted puddles of ice-cream was not going to provide dessert for this lil fishy, was it?  So gracias papa salmon, you saved what could of been one very drippy (both ice-cream & tears) ruddy nightmare! What a frightful prospect.


5. My new phone case simply requires no words. Small things please small minds...



6. Fashion. Yep that's right, I was perusing the generic round of high-street shops (I'll refrain from name dropping) & found myself holding back bellyfuls of the school-girl giggles. Fashion trends are quite literatly insane! Take this little number for example...


Apparently I fail at the 'No high-street name shaming'... the hanger let things drop there!

What the bloomin' hell is this? Will that keep your lady lumps warm this looming winter? I think not.
Absolutely ridonkulous! Needless to say, this bad boy graced the entirety of my snapchat address book.
I also apologise if any one of you readers are fashioning this delightful piece of attire right about now...

7. I stumbled across this picture of wise words on my daily Instagram snoop & loved it! It made me smile so it was guaranteed a winner just like your mama's Sunday chicken dinner!


8. Seeing my sista' from another mista' last Sunday after what felt like an utter lifetiiiiime apart (ok so it was just the summer but no need to be picky). It was SO lovely to run into her big, squishy bear hug & have her familiar Izzy scent of shampoo, wit & humour hit me hard. It was instantly like we'd never been apart!
We spent the whole girly trip in Bristol walking aimlessly into shops, pacing a lap & then gliding straight back out the doors as we were too busy nattering away about God-knows what! Probably the serious perils of world news like who enjoyed her wine too much & graced everyone with a reappearance of her bangers & mash, who's currently hookin' up with Tom two doors down...ya know, the important stuff.


9. Getting this lovely little card from my Cardiff girlies. I think it's official that I have the most fabulous besties ever! Opening this up was like slurpin' a hot green tea on a frightfully icy winter morning...it warmed me insides right up so thank you girls!



10. This adorable little spoon! I've had my eye on buying an engraved spoon for quite a while now & spotted this little gem the other day. It is without a doubt 100% me so it was a done deal before my purse even knew to start tremblin'. A sweet as sugar spoon for a girl who's made of 95% suga'. My bloodstream is like a Candy factory conveyer belt. No word of a lie, I swear.


So what's been keeping you all happy chappies this past week?
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