27 October 2014

If you've got it, haunt it!

Oh hello Halloween, you scandalous old friend! It’s back & ready to take another stab at a night of terror, creepy ghouls, deadly Dj’s & unmistakable mischief. We’ve all seen it, the good, the bad & the down right ugly & that one unfortunate year we’d like to forget. 

No judgement.
I'm going to take a wild guess & say you've left it till last minute to whack out an ingenious idea, right? Snap!
Always scurrying around at the last minute & plumping for the obvious bloody witch or skeleton, I've racked my brains & tried to come up with a costume that'll showcase your admirable creativity & witty imagination. You're welcome.
Keeping it fresh as usual: I've always known how to rock a costume

Rather than looking like the next candidate for ‘Snog, marry or avoid’ & undeniably falling into the latter category, it’s time to boot the over-cliched costumes & plump for something new, original & witty.
Prepare for a night of chills, thrills, belly laughs & bountiful guzzles of the hard stuff! Take a peep at my roundup of DIY getups:
1. Gold Digga'
Be a magpie & gather up everything shiny, gold & notoriously tacky you own & proceed to stick it all over yourself. Tight, metallic & utterly classy, it’s one way to crack a few witch cackles. To complete the look & ridicule the moneygrabbing morsels out there, raid your dads garage & saunter out with a shovel flung over your shoulder. Time to go dig.

2. Cereal Killer
It’s quick, easy & low maintenance. Chow down on your cereal collection as its time to take more than a bite out of your morning bowl of Special K. Cut out the empties & stick them to an old t-shirt you have lurking about. With a tube of fake blood, tomato ketchup or anything that’ll resemble a nasty case of butchery, squirt it all over the top. Mess up your face with some white face paint & slope out the door swinging a fake hammer or knife.

3. Miley Cyrus
Quite frankly, little attire & an insistent iguana tongue catching flies outside your mouth is all you’ll need to nail the Miley look. A creepy teddy bear on your back, your hair in two funky top knots & a partner in crime to dress as Robin Thicke & you’ll be rocking that wrecking ball all night long. Then proceed to twerk your way to shame.

Photo source:www.mu-43.com

Twerking: Great thigh & bum toner I'll have you know...
4. 50 Shades of Grey
Guy? Head out shirtless in some low slung jeans, a silk grey tie & a cheeky NDA print out in your back pocket. Playing the shy tease? Wrap yourself in a bed sheet like you’ve just scampered from your love shack, wrap a grey tie around one wrist & a pair of handcuffs on the other & head out with your bottom lip tucked within your teeth. Now, where’s the red room? If all else fails, head to B&Q & raid the colour shade charts.

5. Carlton Banks
Khaki chinos? Check. Crisp white shirt? Check. Wooly checked v neck jumper? Check. Stick a comb through your mop, sling your jumper over your shoulders, whack on your shiny dancing shoes & head out the door ready to shake them peacock hips & snap those happy hands. Do the mighty man of Bel Air proud. 
Forget Gangham style. Time to whack out…The Carlton dance.

6. Spice Rack
Preferably one that’s two sizes too big, fasten a bra to your outside attire & proceed to fill the gaps with a concoction of bottles from your mama’s spice cupboard. Voila. Simple yet hilariously effective.

7. Killer Deal
Head to Primarni & snap up a plain white tee. With a black marker pen, scribble “50% off original price” on the back & on the front, go to town with a variety of Sale signs. Taking some eyeliner, draw a barcode, £ sign or anything else money related on your face & finish by splashing some fake blood to seal the sweet deal.

8. Windswept 
A pretty amusing costume is the ever so sexy ‘windswept’ look and given the current climate, it’s easy to achieve. Have a gander through your recycling heap & collect anything from empty pizza boxes, newspapers, napkins, broken coat hangers, twigs. Grab some glue & stick these mismatched gems either to a casual outfit or an old suit. Pair with a briefcase, an inside out umbrella & a muddy face brushed with some bronzer & you’re already walking your way to a breezy winner.

Hopefully some of those have made you giggle your cobwebs away & have inspired you to get creative! Halloween may be inextricably overrated & waaaay overdone in the shops but let's be honest, it's the perfect night to let down your hair, forget the art of perfecting the blow-out & eyelash flick precision & the ultimate opportunity to indulge in some playful tomfoolery with an outfit perfected to pull a few funny bones! 

So tell me, what's your outfit of choice this Halloween?

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