22 December 2014

Dodging the Nightmare Before Christmas


We all know that Christmas is a time for frolicking, fun, naughty shenanigans, drinking your body weight in tasty tipples & scoffing family-sized packets of chocolate yule-logs & mince pies but it doesn't come without some sneaky stress-inducing baggage. I don't want to snuff the magic with negativity as after all 'tis the season to be jolly but I thought it'd be handy to dish out the perfect little pocket-guide aimed at keeping you cool as a cucumber come the big day! Think of it as a cheeky gift from me to you so that as you roast & toast your chestnuts over your open fire, the cat wailing of the youth choir on T.V doesn't send you tipping over the edge & hurling a nut shell at the screen.


Don't feel the fizzle as it's your time to sizzle!



 Get some zzz
Whilst I'm fully aware that you're a girl in high demand what with the television screen nipping at your nose with some roaring comedy & sing-song movies, the fully stocked box of quality street throwing saucy looks your way & the last dregs of your pinot grigio carolling your name but try & get yourself tucked up like a sleeping elf nice and early. You'll most likely be out cold in seconds after dashing about all day long & the extra fluttery shut eye will allow you to flourish come the anointed hour all bright-eyed, bushy-tailed & quite frankly annoying next to your grouchy man who was up late prodding you for some cheeky festive duvet frolics...no chance buddy! Plus you've got to be snuggled up & snoozing before Santa's arrival to stuff your stocking silly, right?

Pop the cork, not your clogs 
It's scientifically proven that red wine is packed full of flavonoids & therefore good for the trusty old immune system so what better excuse is there to get the beverages flowing free and easy? Think about it, wine is made from grapes & grapes are a fruity superfood which therefore means makes wine 1 of your five a day. Can I get a hallelujah please? What a down-right Christmas miracle! A bit of liquid gold flowing happy in your veins will help to keep you chilled, relaxed & may help to stifle a few of the notorious family blows as you're more likely to brush off all their widely irritating habits!

Delegate, delegate, delegate
This time of year, it's all about giving but remember that you don't have to be superwoman & run yourself into the dusty ground trying to do anything & everything like a Christmas fairy. Why should you have to wrap the entire family's Christmas stock complete with those damn fiddly ribbons, scrub, brush & chop the veggies ready to soak, slave away rolling out mince pie pastry whilst the rest of the family are roaring with laughter with their feet up in the lounge munching on said mince pies and hailing for another icy chilled corona? Play the role of Mrs Claus who takes no baloney from no-one & let others pitch in with the preparation! Those Coronas will slip down extra sweet when you've all pitched in & worked together to make the big day one to remember.



Get some breezy gales on your face
Whilst it may seem that taking some time out for yourself at such a pivotal time is utter madness, it may just be your saving grace when your neices' fifth rendition of "Jingle bell rock" is enough to drive you under the living room table crouching like a crap & clutching at a pint of whiskey in a vice-like grip like you're a priest blessing his Holy water. Take a break, bundle yourself up into your chunky knit scarf & your disgusting but much-loved parka & take yourself off for a stroll around your neighbourhood. A touch of the winter gales blasting across your face will help to revive your frazzled head & inject that special festive sparkle back into your glittering eyes.

Get your speaker's singing
A fabulous way to help reduce stress, instantly calm your inner raging Cruella de Ville & save yourself from a major fury-flow blowout is to flick the switch on your radio or laptop & get those feel-good tunes belting out like there's no tomorrow! Whether it's a cheesy, cliched compilation of Christmas classics, a mashup of the top 40 lyrical marvels or a light & breezy blast of Slipknot - whatever gets your gnashers flashing like Nanny J's, your toes gliding like Torvill & Dean's, your bum wiggling like Shakira's & you shimmying your way around a buttered sprout meltdown, music is the golden touch in keeping you cool like a raisin in your Christmas fruitcake.

Offer yourself up like a tasty green triangle in the Chocolate tub
I realise it's the time of year to let loose & be reckless but I don't exactly mean letting your hair down & slapping yourself into the lap of your lusted fancies like a piece of succulent turkey slathered in a smattering of mouth-wateringly juicy cranberry sauce. Amongst all the hustle & bustle of trying to pull a marvellous & memorable day out of the glitter-encrusted, bell-jingling bag, it's far too easy to forget what Christmas is all about. It's a time to take some time out, hang your slippers up & enjoy some special quality time with the ones you've endured & put up with for far too many years. Pause, plop the potato masher down & go give your papa a great big bear hug. A hug is such a deliciously special moment to share with someone but their significance are often overlooked. Make it your aim to dish out genuine squishy snuggles to all your loved ones like they're going out of date as it's an utter given that time out focusing upon others will help to keep you grounded amongst all the soppy carrot peels. Not only will it make you feel special, loved & happy but it may well be the extra special Christmas gift that someone was wishing for.


If all else fails, just remember to keep calm & drink on!


[Also available to read at Couture Stories]
[Photo Source Inspiration: Pinterest, courtneywarrencreative, whatwearewearing]

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