26 September 2015

Being You: Feel Comfortable In Your Own Skin

When you get yourself caught in the sticky web of rock bottom confidence and self-worth, it can seem like an impossible journey to untangle yourself and feel at peace in being nothing but 100% you. In my own continuous journey of seeking personal acceptance, I know that at times it can certainly feel like a worthless fight but if you persevere, aim, focus and take the first step it can also be one of the most empowering and moving journeys you'll ever get to experience. 

We all could do with a little pep talk to ruffle our feathers and puff up our deflated chests but slowly and surely if you take the time to make a change in how you treat yourself then day by day you will begin to soar. Learning to love yourself in all its beauty, ugliness, strengths, weaknesses, triumphs, losses and most importantly authenticity then you can allow yourself to blossom into the sincere, healthy and real you.

Here's my self-care box of tips to help you discover who you really are and 100% love every bit of y-o-u...

#1. Practise Positive Self-Talk
So the mumbling monkey in your head really likes to give you a headache with his claptrap, am I right? Go tell the cheeky chimp where to do one by taking control of your thoughts and transform your body confidence and esteem with some positive self chat. It's all too easy to slip into focusing on the negatives and just sitting back to revel in their destruction but stop being a moaning myrtle and pull yourself out of the black hole by doing something a lil' different. The way you talk to yourself affects your projection to the world so by talking nicely and seeking the bits about yourself that you think are smokin' will only allow you to present yourself more self-assured. You wouldn't waltz up to your mama and tell her that her chosen outfit du jour makes her legs look like giant cheesy puffs stuffed into sausage casing would you? I'm going to take a wild guess and say no so why the heck would you tell your own lovely self that? Stop it. Now. (...and if you regularly tell your mum that then you my friend are a terrible, terrible person. Hang your head in shame.)

#2. Stop the Comparisons: You're Unique
Simply put there is only - and ever will be - one of you so don't waste your precious beauty by trying to be something or somebody else. If you constantly strive to be anything but you and continue to deny to be true to yourself then not only are you hurting yourself and your talents but your denying the world of knowing how special you really are. Begin to appreciate what you have to offer and stop comparing yourself to others around you - they walk their own walk so you need to find yours. Once you start opening yourself to the world and revealing the truth of what makes you who you are then you set yourself free of the draining mentality of striving to be something artificial. Realise that you do not need to be a certain weight, a certain hair colour or dress a certain way to be accepted. Often mental illnesses whisper to us on a 24/7 basis that what we naturally are is and never will be enough. I'll have you know that your head is a meddling minx and speaks a load of poppycock so mute the monkey rattling his cages, let yourself go and believe in what and who you are. It's enough, trust me. Not everyone's going to like you as much as a fizzy haribo strawberry but that's their problem; not yours. Remember that you don't serve to please anyone but yourself. 

#3. Dress for Yourself; Not to Impress
Whilst I truly believe it's what inside that counts and shines through with beauty, there's nothing quite like taking the time to pamper yourself and dress up to feel good. Investing time in yourself by doing your makeup all nice n'fresh, picking up a hairbrush and running it through the birds nest you call hair (...just me then?) and whacking on your favourite outfit is a simple, underrated but powerful way of lifting your spirits and making you feel just that little bit more secure before the daily grind gets crack-a-lackin. Taking the time to dress well is an effective way of reassuring yourself that you are worth the effort - just make sure you invest the time to please your own self and own likes, not for somebody else.

#4. Be Mindful of the Things you Hold the Power to Change
Life is a funny little thing that never quite keeps on the roller coaster track you first envisioned but take heart that you ultimately have a choice to be mindful in the way you approach it. Life can't be controlled as it's a stubborn little lady with a mind of her own but you can 100% control the way you react and behave in accordance to what she throws at you. You can choose to get bogged down by the murky waters and let others and their bad days affect you and your self-worth or you can choose to see what good remains in the world and flip your reaction to what comes and what goes. Ultimately it's remembering that you are the author of your own life and you have the ability to help navigate the prose of your story so look at the world with a positive mindset and your story may just fly off the page. If your plot remains untold or is going no-where, put on your glasses, change pens and change what's making you unhappy. You hold the responsibility of your life. Love who you are and love all that makes you - warts n'all as they are what makes you real, unique and the original version of you. 

#5. Learn to Love the Imperfections
Pssst they're the most beautiful! Perfection - what even is that? An overrated lie that has somehow attached itself to your mindset, that's what! Perfection does not entail happiness in any way, shape or form as it's a subjective adjective that entails something entirely different for each and every one of us. Believeing that you have to be perfect in order to attain golden sunshine happiness and acceptance from the world is a self-sabotaging mindset. The imperfections you see in others makes them interesting, unique and is probably what makes you drawn to them - so why does that not apply to you? Happiness, love, acceptance and gratitude flourishes and blossoms from learning to see the imperfect perfectly. 

#6. Be Proactive & Ditch the Excuses
Putting aside the things less appealing will only exacerbate the situation and keep them on your to-do list. If resisting the things that make you feel like shitting yo knickers has always left you feeling more tied-up and a ball of anxiety energy then following the same plan of ignoring them will get you absolutely nowhere. Embrace the cliché wives tale and 'feel the fear & do it anyway'. Give yourself a break and try something different! Be honest and challenge yourself to change the things that you know ultimately need working on. By deciding to tackle the usual "what you resist, persists", not only will you probably end up with a bad case of the shakes n' sweats (just rock it out with swag...you're glowing dahlin') but I guarantee that the pride and relief you feel at doing it will make your confidence soar. 

#7. Fine-Tune your Gratitude
Being mindful of the present moment and looking around at what and who is really there can make a mighty profound impact on your life and can lift your mood to heights you didn't believe possible. It's far too easy to get caught up in a shit bag of whirling emotions that drag you down but if you really focus yourself to stop, live in the moment and be appreciative of what surrounds you then your life will feel a lot richer and far more fulfilling. Honouring and honing your perspective is a simple trick that works wonders. 

#8. Look Inside; It's Not Always About the Mirror
Self worth and loving who you are is far more than being satisfied with your physical appearance. You are an individual whose outside image is only a small part of who you truly are. What's far more important is the person nestled inside the long brunette hair that catches the wind, the kindness you endow upon others that hides beneath your curled and loaded lashes. Your essence - your personality and the actions that are driven by the care in your heart make you y-o-u. Don't just seek happiness in finding the perfect mascara or necklace to make you look pretty. By all means enjoy them in making you feel great and wonderful but seek your true happiness in being entirely authentic by what lies behind your Topshop corduroy dress.

#9. Look Up Girl
So how's life occurring down with the ants and worms then kid? Splendidly I hope. Well why not try lifting that little chin of yours and showing that gorgeous face of yours to the world around you. Don't bury your personality out of fear of rejection or emotion as it's a waste of who you are and the world is certainly missing out on one beautiful face of originality. If it helps, practise standing in front of your mirror and really look at yourself. Don't focus on the imperfections that you may be immediately drawn to criticise but gaze deeply into your eyes and notice their beauty. This is where you should whack out your book of affirmations and speak them out loud n'proud to your doubting self. You'll feel like a knob whilst doing it and may cringe but if you repeat, repeat, repeat then slowly and surely that self love you lack will resurface and reignite until you can start believing it from your heart.

#10. Power of Posture
Quite often our body language reflects how we're feeling and can mould the mood that we project to the world. If you're feeling pants then unconsciously the way your body presents itself will show it. Give yourself a massive favour and fake it till you make it. Stand up tall like you've got a rod stuck up your ass, flip your chin up so you can actually see the world and strut your stuff like Beyonce as it can really shake things up and boost your mood. Actually taking the time to notice your posture and making it reflect an air of confidence will miraculously do wonders for your daily positive outlook.

[Photo Source Inspiration: Pinterest]

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