07 September 2015

Little Miss Independent: Stripping Her Back

Each and every one of us has experienced her. Her flighty self-sufficient air of go-getter determination, the solid, battered armour of steely outward confidence, the precarious and often distant cold aura of deterrence which protects a guarded, quivering tender heart of undeniable insecurity. 

She's too distracted in presenting unprecedented and somewhat enviable self-belief and control to the facade of the world in her struggle for self-acceptance. The solitude and self-reliance she has built and cultivated as a sense of strength and sanity can only but shine out to the world as preciously brittle venerability and self-doubt ready to shatter. 

Some of us may be more acquainted with a little miss vulnerable - more so than we consciously give attention to. 
She may be the inspiring women who nurtured and nourished you, the sister from another mister whose back you'll always keep sheltered or she may even be the soul that quietly nestles inside of you...the essence that doesn't quite know how to be loved. 

It's difficult to place your finger on why things can happen the way they do and how we can be blinded and bound in the familiar safety of known pain and sadness rather than embracing the pain of walking away from the source of stagnancy. 

It's all too easy to be ground down by the mental and physical exhaustion and tiredness of familiarity and fear of a new vision that we let ourselves make our beds in the drama and pain. Unfortunately however these burdens eventually run too strong and press our drain buttons on repeat. Despite the emotional torture, very seldom does one have the capacity and bravery to stand up and wipe the blinkers of their situation and turn the page on a new unknown life chapter. 

What remains is feeling bruised, battered, alone, numb and most impressionable of all, feeling nothing but unadulterated shame.

Amongst the haze, confusion and mirage of strength in sitting with the comfortable, sometimes throwing your hands out to those desperately trying to navigate you to the paths of change and drowning your stubborn pride to paths of the unknown may just provide the guiding hand you need for pure acceptance and solid self-love in all its' glorified beauty. 

The solution does not lie in searching for the missing jigsaw piece of your life puzzle...it simply does not exist. The power and vision lie in the inspiring strength to strip yourself bare and rest in the realisation that sometimes it's okay to not be okay. 

It's human, it's real, it's truth and an authentic blessing in disguise. It's y-o-u in rare exposure and it's okay. 

Here's a little glittering pool of hope and encouragement from one Little Miss Independent trying to find her long lost self to another...

#1. Remind yourself that vulnerability is Beautiful
You can't be an unbroken rock time and time again - it's an unrealistic aspiration to be the wall that everyone can lean and rely upon through the dips and highs..even the toughest cookies begin to crumble under pressure. To reveal yourself in full glory is actually something of exquisite beauty and precious rarity and I guarantee that being real to the world and to all those who love you will gift you with more respect and affection than imaginable. To be authentic and real is to be beautiful both inside and out. 

#2. Patience, Young One
Letting yourself be exposed and open to affection, emotion and The Feels is not going to be easy girl. Don't expect to suddenly decide to let loose, prance your way through a gorgeous field of tumbling roses and walk away feeling fine-flippin'-tastic. I can hand on heart tell you it's going to be tough and at times you're going to get pierced with the thorns on multiple levels that'll make you want to sob for your mama's tender touch. Keep going, keep persevering, keep your aim and your goals in mind and just keep being real. When you feel uncomfortable and your natural instinct is to retract and withdraw, that is the time that your inner strength cultivates, blossoms and magnifies as the choice to keep going simply proves your full capability of being stronger than you believe. 

#3. You don't Have To Be Just A Half
In a sense, Little Miss Independent is the way she is because it's truly who she is and the independence she asserts is just the part of her personality that allows her to fend for herself when the going gets tough. Yet this trait can often get tainted, flipped, battered and moulded into a position that gets her in a life pickle of over-burning. Big time. Breaking down the walls you have built up around yourself won't automatically make you any less of the person you are with any less importance or 'being'. Expressing yourself and leaning on others for a while won't reduce you to any less than half the person you were. You don't lose yourself, you become yourself for the very first time and you find that the fear you have of becoming half of a whole is nothing but a false belief you have nurtured in your own head. You actually become even more of a whole than before and the connections you build with others in the process of being vulnerable create an independence, respect and love that ripens the whole fruit of being.

#4. Every Little Helps
Don't plunge yourself too head first into a position of change as you'll only freak your sensitive heart and make the retraction back to safety even more determined and harder to resist. Do a little every day - no matter how minuscule it may appear to others - so that day by day you find yourself that little bit further from the pool edge and closer to the centre pool of clarity and freedom. Keep yourself afloat and swimming by using others as your backbone safety rafts when you find yourself in a mess of snotty tears of confusion and unrest. Just keep reminding yourself that your passion and unique love can be unleashed when you keep persevering with what makes your tits scream. It's worth it.

It's tough. It's going to make you feel like your dogs long-awaited morning release in the garden much of the time, it's going to make you ugly cry and it's going to make your snot ignite the taps of Everest. Despite all that, I promise you that if you position yourself upon the bumpy road of positivity, the empowerment you gain from the experience and outcome will keep the boat of hope that lies within you afloat and will gift you with the priceless power of unbreakable self-love, belief and inner peace. Surrendering your damaging independence doesn't always have to be seen as a bad loss; sometimes the only thing you need to lose is the weight of the world on your shoulders.

There are seven days in a week and 'someday' is not one of them. Start today, start now, start in this very moment and you're already moving forwards. It's okay to admit that you're not okay and need something different; you're a gift that needs unwrapping to reveal the captivating beauty that's always been and always will be there. 

Chin up beautiful buttercup.
[Photo Source Inspiration: Pinterest]

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