24 September 2015

The Future Is Bright For A Phenomenal Woman

So it's safe to say that in my 22 years I've had a few ups and downs, blips and pesky tumbles along the path of life. Such a meddling minx. In such times I like to adopt the approach of being a sly ol'cat with a killa nine lives to flirt with. Each and every time I take a testing trip by being a clumsy catastrophe, I stretch out on my death bed for a while wailing like Bridget Jones on helium and a bad case of the Mr. Darcy's. So where the hell do I go from there I hear you cackle? Well, I dust down the congregated cookie crumbs, flex my toes and spring right back up to strutting my stuff like a badass bitch, that's what. 

I'd also like to now mention that the scene I've just described pans out entirely within the confines of my head sprinkled with fairy dust and roses. What actually happens in reality is that I wail and shriek a little more and then resign myself to slowly inch my shaky legs in an upwards direction and then shuffle along to whatever beholds me. So it may not be such a gallant and inspirational reinvention as Cinderella's but the gal's wildly overrated anyway and no-one wants to be a wet-drip.
Despite the menacing clouds taunting threats of rain ahead, I still bloody get back up and you know what? That's enough. I may have my tail so tightly tucked between my legs that there's an 80% chance of a permanent butt wedgie but I refuse to just give up and get bulldozed by shit that at the end of the day doesn't matter all that much - except in my douchebrain. It adds a touch of strength and resilience every time it turns its engine on and in knowing that, I can only teach myself to process the struggles as a positive learning curb to be thankful for.

It's funny how life can often take a trip down different paths and side alleys that you had never previously noticed either out of ignorance, sheer god-forsaken fear or simply just being a dosey unobservant git. Yet it's in these unexpected trips that we often find ourselves, who we really are, what's really important to us and ultimately who our true and reliant friends are. That's why I feel it's important to keep even just a tiny smidgen of hope nestling in your heart when the rainclouds turn their taps on to cause mischief. Don't deny yourself from feeling the highs and lows of a roller coaster journey as resisting and burying them away creates more of a deep black hole than you first imagined. 

To feel the feels is to be human and it's 100% healthy and vital for survival. Give yourself the permission to have down days but remember not to wallow too hard and get caught in the vicious cycle of negativity. In order to be open and truly authentic, you have to put on your big gal pants and stop being afraid of simply not being okay. To give yourself permission to cry is not a sign of a weak character. In fact it shows you just how badass you really can be as you're allowing yourself to be free, confrontational and compassionate to your body, heart and mind. Realise that happiness exists when you treat yourself kindly. This often entails mastering your feelings and experiences - good and bad - and learning to believe that no matter what state you're experiencing at present, that everything will turn out okay and the way it should. Sometimes life misses a chapter you were pining for or gallantly expecting leaving you lost, bewildered and alone but keep the faith that sometimes the rough tough bad times are only weathering a better, brighter and more radiant future ahead of you.

A foxy little lady has taught me more than I could have ever imagined recently. Whilst again I haven't known this wondrous woman for very long, the infectious energy she brought to any room with just her presence reminded me of the very beautiful reasons and desires why we should love life and keep trying to challenge what feels broken and ruined. The fact that she could touch the very essence of what you were feeling or experiencing without needing to voice a single word was simply magical and not once did I ever leave a conversation with her not feeling empowered, strong, moved and flawed. 

Within just three weeks of knowing this cheeky fox, she unknowingly gave me the biggest gift I could have ever asked for or even begun to imagine I could feel again...

Val, you've reminded me what it feels like to be beautiful again. 

I've fought and failed for so long to spread my wings and believe in my abilities but in just three short weeks, you have given me the priceless hope of a sparkly future. You've taught me that whilst we may be adults facing the upheaval of #adultproblems, inherently we're all still young and malleable at heart. Through your wisdom you've allowed me to see that we're all young and dumb and ultimately make shocking mistakes but that they're all liberating assets necessary in finding ourselves. Sometimes we have to mess up big time and make some down-right atrocious mistakes in order to press the re-set button and learn to make some great ones.

We're a bloody fragile lot and it doesn't take much to feel like our future's and dreams have shattered into a million little invisible pieces but we're still standing and we're still ultimately surviving. That is because we're resilient. We're elastic bands that stretch beyond expectations in times of struggle and just when we think that we'll snap and break, we bounce back to the start ready to reinvent and try again. So you've made some mistakes, so what? You're currently making mistakes and you're going to continue making silly mistakes but it will get better and better until it blooms into something g-r-e-a-t! Seek a life of bravery, appreciate the unexpected joy and love you stumble upon along the way, be patient with yourself and cherish the memories that grace you through the good and the bad. 

My darling foxy lady, you never did something with half a heart. You put your mind, body and soul into everything that challenged and faced you and the grace, time and tolerance you endowed all with meant that you never touched anything with only half of your heart. You're a woman with a solid heart of gold and you've taught me the simple but strongly profound art of beauty existing beyond comfort zones. I only hope to follow in your footsteps in being honest not only to the world but to myself, to not feel embarrassed in what I say or do, to embrace the winds of change with baby steps of patience, to laugh, sing, cry and most importantly that before jumping to react, to simply sit back and understand. Val you truly are a glowstick of inspiration - you've allowed yourself to break in order to shine bright and strong. 

My message to you and to all of you is to remember that what is right for you may not be right for others but that is 100% okay. You should never be ashamed to ask for a helping hand when it's needed and always without a doubt be true to yourself and do exactly what Y-O-U love. Remember that in life you always have a choice and I wish you nothing but finding joy in what life is really all about - L.i.v.i.n.g. 

Never stop being true to yourself our unforgettable foxy lady.
Spread your wings...Aim. Soar. Fly high. 

My parting gift to you is a poem that speaks words loud enough to capture the inner beauty that lies within you. 

Thank you for being You.

Phenomenal Woman
- Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. 
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size   
But when I start to tell them, 
They think I’m telling lies. 
I say, 
It’s in the reach of my arms, 
The span of my hips,   
The stride of my step,   
The curl of my lips.   
I’m a woman 
Phenomenal woman,   
That’s me. 

I walk into a room 
Just as cool as you please,   
And to a man, 
The fellows stand or 
Fall down on their knees.   
Then they swarm around me, 
A hive of honey bees.   
I say, 
It’s the fire in my eyes,   
And the flash of my teeth,   
The swing in my waist,   
And the joy in my feet.   
I’m a woman 

Phenomenal woman, 
That’s me. 

Men themselves have wondered   
What they see in me. 
They try so much 
But they can’t touch 
My inner mystery. 
When I try to show them,   
They say they still can’t see.   
I say, 
It’s in the arch of my back,   
The sun of my smile, 
The ride of my breasts, 
The grace of my style. 
I’m a woman 
Phenomenal woman, 
That’s me. 

Now you understand 
Just why my head’s not bowed.   
I don’t shout or jump about 
Or have to talk real loud.   
When you see me passing, 
It ought to make you proud. 
I say, 
It’s in the click of my heels,   
The bend of my hair,   
the palm of my hand,   
The need for my care.   
’Cause I’m a woman 
Phenomenal woman, 
That’s me.

[Photo Source Inspiration: Pinterest] 

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