28 June 2016

Wimbledon Wardrobe Grand-Slam

The time for succulently sucking strawberries slathered in lashings of whipped cream all washed down with flutes of bubbly champers is once again upon us! Forget the footie and prepare to take your seats centre-court as we open the doors to Wimbledon wonderland and Nadal's majestical biceps.

Besides the next two weeks becoming a legitimate excuse for pimms at every given moment, I'd like to take this space to say that it's not all about the tennis action on the court, or men in tight shorts. Shocking I know. Using the binoculars to get up close n'personal with the tighty whities parading around court side or fixating on bouncing balls in all regions of imagination are great past times to this tournament but we all know that it's the fashion wardrobes that are the stars of the court! Sorry Murray, maybe next year lad.

Get in the spirit of things by pulling out your cucumber laced pitchers of pimms and taking your cue from the court ball girls by donning your brightest colgate whites and sporting charm with neoprene textures, flirty frills and teasing tennis skirts guaranteed to get the balls in action both on and off court...! Game. Set. Match.

Swing into fashion victory by serving up a glorious triumph in centre-court spotlight; it's time to lick those pimms drenched lips and swing those flirty-dressed hips for one raucous grand slam sweep!

From left to right: Ribbed Trim Cardigan, Le Coq Barrel Bag, Serena Polo Dress, Adidas 3-stripe Skirt

From left to right: Smart Lounge Trousers, Retro T-shirt, Pocket Mini Skirt, Printed Midi Skirt

From left to right: High-waist Trousers, Over-sized Shirt Dress, Stripe Wrap Dress, Stripe Mensy Peg Trousers

From left to right: Printed Tennis Skirt, Poplin Jumpsuit Dress, Contemporary Striped Pants, Striped Shift Dress

From left to right: Pleated Mini Skirt, Adidias Original ZX Flux Trainers, Tie-dye T-shirt Romper, Sportif Agate Trainers, Lacoste Silver Leather Lace-ups

From left to right: White Ripped MOM Shorts, Ivory Tennis Skirt, Barlow Midi Dress,   Vintage Denim Midid Skirt

From left to right: 90s Sport Strap Dress, Belted Utility Trousers, Colour Block Lace Dress, Striped Swing Dress

From left to right: Culottes Grey Jumpsuit, Belted Crepe Jumpsuit, Long Wrap Skirt, Bamboo Alexa Playsuit

[Photo Source Inspiration: Pinterest, Urbanoutfitters, Americanapparel, Forever21, Topshop, Missguided, ASOS]

22 June 2016

Dazzling Date Night & Bohemian Delights

Summer strikes and sets the season for sneaky stolen glances and enchantingly shameless date night slumbers! Wooing and schmoozing your main squeeze over a spicy hot chicken wing and corn cob at Nandos doesn't quite set the imagination ablaze with passion. So as the temperatures heat up, turn up the sizzle of your love life dates by getting inspired by these magical rendezvous worth a couples' snapchat or two!

Tales of teasing tomfoolery will blossom and frolick amongst twinkling candlelit lanterns, soft whimsical tulles and blankets, cheeky cocktail concoctions, naughty nibbles (...on food or skin) all sprinkled with a touch of bohemia magic!

Get your date night encounters shaken, stirred and served on the rocks with a slug of frivolous alfresco fun...

#1. Kids' Play: An indoor fort of fiery fun 
What better way to shake off your inhibitions by taking it back to old-school child play in an indoor fort constructed from blankets, duvets, tulle and more cushions than even your Nan has stored in her cupboard?! String some glistening fair lights, get the flickering candles alight and snuggle up with a disney film of fun complete with ice-cream, popcorn and fruity laced tipples as you try to keep focus on the action and not the person wrapped around you! Childs play can only be but innocent, right?

#2. Exotic Outdoor Tumbles: T-pee tulles
Time to take the anxious date jitters alfresco by swooping your beau into one T-pee of naughtiness to kick back, relax and captivate the attention and heart of your company! Why not get creative and adorn your love nest with notes of bohemia lights and vibes and sugar coat an atmosphere of lust with some naughty nibbles, tasty tipples under a sky of twinkling night stars. Magical. 

#3. The Wave of Love: Sandy beach toe tease
Let your dreams of wanderlust and rolling waves become a reality by taking date night down to the sumptuous sands and salty sea air and setting your beau's heart ablaze with a roaring fire to huddle round. A candlelit picnic against the backdrop of a soft and gentle ocean whilst sipping on something naughty will leave you both in barefoot paradise. Sex on the beach anyone? The cocktail of course...

#4. New Love Heights: Tree house gazing
Why not elevate your senses and imagination into a new sky-soaring level of ecstasy by squirrelling away to an adventurous getaway. Spend a night surrounded by panoramic views of deep pools of sky scattered with glowing stars and dancing fireflies and let your head and your heart soar! Breathtaking enchantment can be found up in the tress of charm; not only in the face of your anointed company!

#5. Natural Instinct: Star gazing glamping
Tuck up in a fairy-lit love shack of romance with these bewitching forts of comfort and elegance! Forget trying to keep the ants out as you tussle around in a sleeping bag and get the wine bottles poppin and the romance bubblin' as you nestle down onto a bed of blankets, cushions and throws adorned with low lights for that teasing vibe of tantilising temptation. 

#6. After Hours Action: Movie under the stars
Sit back, relax and cosy up under a blanket of alfresco style, enchantment and ease by getting the wheels rolling and parking up to an outdoor cinema screening! Old-school cheese never goes out of style, so pack the snacks, get the bubbles a-flowing and get yourself cuddled up like a bunch of 60s lovebirds on a blanket perched upon the bonnet. Stolen glances, spine-tingling limb grazes and entertainment beneath the stars...sounds just like a movie, don't you think? 

[Photo Source Inspiration: Pinterest]

18 June 2016

Signs You're Nothing But Bloody British...

We are a nation of utter contradictions. We love being British and also hate being British. We glorify our power and united allegiance yet simultaneously moan how powerless we have become. We love our tea made one way and one way only and engage in heated debate on whether the jam or the cream is slathered first on the coveted scone. Yet one thing that sticks out above all else is that Britain, despite its best efforts is nothing but just a bit British. 

We're eccentric, we're sarcastic, we form queues at every possible encounter (...who else queues for a train?), any glimpse of sun and we're at the tills with a bottle of Pimms, weather extremities cause a nation shutdown and we've most likely all said thank you to a cash machine. 

We're a bundle of predicaments, David Attenborough is our spoken God, we still mourn the loss of Woolworths but lovingly we're unique, the smug home of Cadbury's and you can always count on us to be bat-shit drunk before midday when we're on our jollies!

So let's raise our glasses and make a toast to being nothing but bloody British...Hear Hear! Anyone for a cuppa instead?

#1. Saying Sorry is a natural reaction to just about any situation. If in doubt, just say sorry; the self checkout machine will be most thankful.

#2. Pretty much everything you or another says will sound riddled with sarcasm.

#3. You will be met with a chorus of disgruntled disgust and outrage if you do not dunk your digestive into your cup of tea. To dunk one's biscuit is the nation's unspoken law of conduct (..and acceptance).

#4. The weather will always be the default topic of conversation when we're at a social loss.

#5. A cup of tea is the answer to ease all worries. We love it. No really, we really bloody do. 

#6. David Attenborough will forever be the grandfather we all wish could read us bedtime stories every night. 

#7. "I absolutely LOVE it; you've made such an improvement to how it was!" will always be the default response to when the hairdresser asks what you think of the cut. It is only when you close the salon door and round the corner that you burst into hysterical sobs as Donald Trump wails back at you in the window reflection.

#8. The excuse for getting on the beers at 7am in the departure lounge is almost as exciting as going on holiday.

#9. The nation's hailed cuisine of choice may not be culinary refinement but it sure does hit the spot on a Friday night after a few bevvies down the pub. Fish n'chips anyone?

#10. As soon as we get a glimmer of sun, the tops are whipped off, the shorts come out and we all become painfully aware that we're late on the bikini-body ready game.

#11. You can always count on us to keep the holiday souvenir shops full of cheap crap afloat by being too bloody polite to say no and getting royally ripped off. 

#12. We like to over-gesticulate just to reinforce our point.  

#13. Marmite is a hot topic taken in all its seriousness. There are two boats, no safety waters to float in: you either love it or you hate it. End of discussion. 

#14. We don't go on holiday to tan, we go in order to fry ourselves into one walking embarrassment tinged in a bespoke shade of maroon aptly named 'Knob'. Upon our return, said burn doesn't magically turn us into one brazen beach babe but a walking hazard of dry peelings. 

#15. The Argos catalogue was like your childhood Bible; a world of knowledge every Sunday morning.

#16. Whenever a summer event is planned for outside fun and mischief, it will rain. 100%.

#17. The sheer abomination at having to pay anything more than 10p for a freddo will remain forever strong and united. Patriotic we are!

#18. A Nando's date is treated like a saintly right of passage into the mother of all experiences.

#19. TV schedule looking dead and uninspiring? Life's only one constant will forever save the day with its' viewing reliability - Come Dine With Me.

#20. Christmas excitement and euphoria can only commence once the precious coca-cola advert hits the airing screens and the John Lewis advert makes you choke back a sob. Fact.

#21. Following from our innate need not to 'rock the boat' and remain polite, we often use the phrase "Not to be funny but..." in order to lessen the blow of a complaint or insult. 

#22. The power of toast is undeniable. Who knew that a toasted piece of bread could bring together as a nation and unite us in comfort. For any other country, toast is somewhat bottom of the pile in Breakfast importance. For us brits it is nothing short of a treat to cure all of life's woes. A golden piece of glory is an acceptable snack or mindless pastime any time of day - come rain or shine!

#23. A weekend is not a weekend without a fry-up and getting all up in the grill with a couple o'sausages!

Keep calm and get that kettle on, love!

Love, Sarah

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[Photo Source Inspiration: Pinterest]

15 June 2016

The Big London Chill: Ultimate Ice Cream Crawl

It's Summertime. It's hot (sort of). You're hungry (no change there then). So what's the solution?
Ice cream.

Let's face it, Ice cream is always the answer when it comes to life's most taxing questions. Screw the summer diet of celery sticks, I have a new one for you guaranteed to deliver results, yeah you start with a nice big salad bowl....then fill it with ice-cream. Majestical! The broccoli can wait for tomorrow as today calls for one jolly good spooning...how filthy!

Now is most definitely the time to be alive as we're living in a golden Ice age of a delectable and tantaslising emporium of creamy flavour explosion. Have I got you frozen to the spot and shivering in delight yet? So I set my brain to churn out some sweet ideas of how we could use, abuse and devour this sweet little dessert to the best of our abilities and what better way than a summertime scavenger trail of Ice cream hop stops. 

Gone are the days of knocking back the bubbles and pints of burp juice and lo and behold slinks the mighty Ice Cream crawl, chillin' like a villain and pummeling the renowned pub crawl off its high horse. To give credit where all credit is due however, who needs a legitimate excuse to plunge their spoon into the ice-cream tub anyway?

And they say laugher is the best medicine, pah! They lie. 
It's ice-cream.

I often find that my total bitch face green-eyed gremlin gets unleashed from her cage and hurls abuse at all those lucky devils who have birthdays in the glorious summer months. Why? You lucky lot get to throw magnificent shenanigans involving ice cream, ice cream and even more ice cream without a care in the world! If I tried my hand at such debacles in the bitter month of February I'd be booted straight back up my mother's uterus for being so foolish. 

As a sass ball with a dirty penchant for ice cream you can see why such a feat crushes my poor little sugar heart. However, I've soon come to the conlusion that those who say it's "too cold for ice-cream" are the sorts of people one does not need in their life. Yet if you're a summer baby, this brill chill crawl is dedicated to you - use and abuse your ice-cream privileges...Go Shawty, it's sherbet day!

Without further adieu, it's time you eat yourselves silly and induce a frozen state of ecstasy by hitting up this tailored sugar trail, setting your tastebuds alight and rolling yourself home nursing one royally swollen food baby. So whilst the aim of the game is to eat yourself to winner status, most people - myself entirely included- happily trundle along for the ride simply at the prospect of spooning filthy amounts of the cold stuff. Well someone's gotta take one for the team and scoop out the best parlours chillin' out there and who could say no to ice cream after all? 

Time to get sticky-fingered & dish up one sugar laced game changer..!

#1. Chin-Chin Labs, Camden Town Tube

#2. Gelatorino, Covent Garden

#3. Dri Dri Gelato, Notting Hill

#4. Snowflake Gelato, Soho

#5. Amorino, Soho

#6. Gelupo, Archer Street

#7. Freggo, Swallow Street

#8. La Gelatiera, Covent Garden

Have an ice day folks!

Love, Sarah

Connect & take a snoop at what I'm up to on...

Instagram @sincerelysalmon
Facebook  : The Poached Salmon

[Photo Source Inspiration: Pinterest]
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