28 August 2016

Compliments Stripped Back: Seeing Beyond The Physical

Beauty and looks will vary, will fade and change but the inner beauty of your character, your charm, your laughter, kindness and sarcasm will always be the unique constant that shines the brightest.

You can picture it now can't you? You're happily walking down the highstreet and suddenly your beady eyes do an unexpected double take as they clock a torrent wave of neon orange hair. It'd be hypocritical of us not to admit that the majority of us would notice a fiery mane of attention amongst the usual colour swatch spectrums of hair. Anything that deviates from the unspoken "social norms" inevitably calls for attention. It's human nature at the end of the day. It's how you respond following on from this encounter that shows the true nature of your character and social conditioning. Visualise yourself right now in this very moment having spotted a total free spirit scampering along the street with a head of spectacular intensity. 

Got it pictured? Now what is your instinctual response to this individual? 
Do you...(a). Proceed to then look at their face, their clothes, their body, what they may be holding, who they may be walking with, appraising or questioning their general characteristics or do you b). Put on your pants of curiosity and wander what they're like as a person; interested in what it could be that makes them tick and what values they may hold? Two very natural human responses with one key difference. 


One is focusing on the external; the physical features and appearance of the lady and the other is focusing on the internal; the hidden qualities that lie beyond the bold statement hair. 
Compliments and appraisal are a simple, free and wondrous way to connect and bond with others but if we stop and think about it, very rarely do we dish up the goods that go beyond the physical attributes of another. 

"Your hair looks the absolute BOMB right now!"

"You have the most beautiful, sparkly eyes"

...sound familiar? It seems that when we choose to compliment another, we pick out a appearance based admiration by default which in itself isn't a negative thing as I believe that another's beauty and admirable qualities should always be celebrated and valued. Yet so should another's intelligence, their kindness, their drive, their humour and their spirit! Everyone in this world is a complex book of everything that makes them who they are and just like the old saying goes "Never judge a book by its' cover". A person may have an ass sculpted to peachy ripeness and a mane reminiscent of a Pantene advert but their internal energy and presence is what encompasses their total radiance. Someone's razor sharp killer cheekbones are only a minor fraction to what they have to offer this world. 

I've come to realise that what you invest in the world and to others - a smile, a random act of kindness, a presence of authentic gratitude is exactly what the world gives back to you. The more you look for the positives in this life, the more happiness and satisfaction will bounce back in your direction. The same works for dishing up true and meaningful compliments to others. 

Exclaiming to another that they are an inspiration to you or you admire the way they handled a situation can quite simply change their world. A basic comment that may seem simple to you can heighten another's self esteem and manifest their entire day into something more positive and appreciative than they could imagine. 
Confidence and self esteem plays a significant role in how individuals interact and respond with the world and some of the best compliments to boost another's self belief has absolutely nothing to do with being gorgeous or having a great wardrobe or fabulous eyebrows. It's the recognition of another's passion, success, kindness and admirable tenacity that can fuel a profound sense of self-love and it is that respect that you notice in another that can completely change their world. 

So the next time you pull some compliments out of your bag of authenticity, chuck in some of these little non-physical nuggets of affection amongst your total tongue-panting admiration for their adorable freckles. A person's beauty may wither and transform but their mindset will remain charmingly unique and bewitching....

#1. I'm so happy you exist

#2. I always feel so uplifted after being with you

#3. You inspire me to be a better person

#4. Your positivity and passion is so contagious 

#5. The world needs more people like you

#6. You always make me laugh; Your sense of humour is great!

#7. I love having you in my life - you mean the world to me

#8. I really admire your outlook and beliefs

#9. You're so empowering

#10. You make a positive difference to my life

#11. You know what's wonderful? You. You are what's wonderful. Even on a bad day.

#12. You inspire me to work hard

#13. You have a beautiful soul

#14. You're so very talented at what you do

#15. You're a diamond - I can always depend on you

#16. You are priceless; your love lights up any darkness

#17. Everything about you enchants me

#18. Your perseverance and strength is truly admirable

#19. I hope to have you in my life for a very long time

#20. You matter

#21. You're so fun to have around

#22. You light up the room whenever you're around

#23. Your patience should be worshiped like a holy Buddha

#24. You make me feel so good about myself

#25. You're a truly strong person

#26. You are such a great listener

#27. Your confidence is refreshing

#28. Our conversations are so meaningful and inspiring

#29. It's great to see such kindness in the world

#30. You're important even if you don't think so

Love, Sarah

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[All photos sourced & copyrighted to Pinterest, Pixabay & Unsplash]

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