10 October 2016

Be Your Own Brand of Sexy


sexy
ˈsɛksi/
adjective
  1. 1. 
    sexually attractive or exciting.
    "sexy French underwear"
    synonyms:
    sexually attractive, seductive, desirable, alluring, inviting, sensual, sultry, slinky, provocative, tempting, tantalizing

What defines you? What makes you feel like you? What makes you feel unique, feel beautiful and like the real deal? But then again what does it matter?


Maybe it's not about conforming to the expected ideals, the glossy magazine pruned and preened stereotypes of luscious mermaid hair and bouncy soft pillow lips. In fact it's about waking up looking like the back end of a rhino's arse with morning breath to boot, captioning it in its natural glory as "I woke up like this" and bloody well owning it. 

Disgruntled is sexy. Mismatched is sexy. Out-of-the-ordinary is sexy but above all owning and flaunting your imperfections is down-right sexy as hell. By no means am I attempting to belittle and demean those of us that do choose to get up that extra hour early to blow-dry our hair and master the perfect eyelash curl. Essentially if wearing that breath-sucking mini skirt and knee brushing suede heeled boots make you feel like an invincible Goddess then wham, bam, that makes you one sexy mamacita goddam! 


Sexy. What does it even mean?

There is of course the obvious answer that springs to mind which is an overwhelming degree of hotness and the image of Eva Mendes flaunting a tiny little Victoria secret number dripping in lace and frills just about does it; She is undeniably one sexy señorita! What about that low-key sunday ripped-jeans and top knot look you've thrown together - would you class that as sexy too? 


I would. If you'd of asked me that question several years ago when I was like a giddy bunny in headlights scampering off to Uni I would of pulled a horrified face and scoffed at such a notion being anything but scruffy. I walked around with a warped view collected together from what I witnessed around me, what magazines, online articles and fashion trends had fed me that to be attractive is to communicate and allure with your looks and flesh; amping up the sex factor through appearance essentially. 


I think this is particularly apt for this time of year in the fortnightly run-up to halloween night where as Miss Lohen so rightly put it "Halloween is the one night a year where girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it"; cue Regina George gallivanting around in a spangly silver bodysuit complete with fluffy bunny ears, fishnet tights and shiny white slapper boots. If I put the image of Regina George scantily clad next to the image of Lohan decked out in one ghastly 1950's style wedding dress like Ms Havisham, it's not hard to figure out where eyes would wander to first. 


Yet what are we really saying about society and its perception of what it is to be beautiful and alluring? Why has it almost become an unwritten rule that come fright night, a girl has to flash the flesh and pull on a pair of f**k-me-boots to get the nod of approval from others? I vividly remember in my first year of Uni pulling on a tight black tube dress with a chain belt, handcuffs, police cap, aviators and the highest goddam stripper heels I owned in order to feel good enough to head out into town. Did I get the validating nods of approval and unwanted passer-by gropes? Most certainly. Did I feel better for it? Absolutely not. 


If I'm down-right honest I hated every single second I wiggled away in that tight dress. Realising that I was getting eyed up left, right and centre just because I had a pair of perky nunga-nungas peeking out to say hey made me all sorts of confused, uncomfortable and truthfully far from anything remotely sexy. 

That's when it clicked for me. My idea of sexy had changed and that 'sexy' as a definitive blanket term was completely false; it means a whole array of different things for different people and that is 100% okay. Fantastic even. I used to think being sexy meant wearing short skirts and dresses, toe-crippling heels and giving the girls a look-in through flesh-flashing necklines despite never stepping out feeling anything but beautiful. 


Flash-forward to now and my idea of sexy goes far beyond the eyes. It's the every-day display of casual skinny jeans, over-sized fluffy boyfriend jumpers and old-school white converse when I feel like me; that's when I feel sexy. It was the realisation that when I was trying to be overtly sexy according to what I had always thought was the right thing to do was the very time I felt least pretty. When I'm true, authentic and natural in all my curly hair, too-many rings, skinny jeans attire with too much sassy attitude for my own good, that's when I feel like goddam Marilyn Monroe. Of course I love having an excuse to dress up fancy with eyeliner cat flicks, heels for any bit of extra bloody height I can get and a flirty little dress. I'm a girl-after all but more importantly I do that for me and to feel all cheeky n'fine.  


For me the same applies to others. A guy all suited n'booted is undeniably like candy for the eyes and I could quite possibly be willing to forfeit a bowl of ice-cream if it meant a date night with my own suit-clad lad but for an authentic and sustainable type of 'goddam I want him' attitude, low-key is my crux. Jeans, plain T-shirt and trainers is what captures my interest. Of course if he wants to flash some muscle in the arm region that I don't have any qualms to voice; perhaps inappropriate to admit but so very true!


Sexy is not just about the flash of flesh, boob party, thigh-parting superficial details but about the way you communicate to the world and so much more. It's the way you think, the way you talk, the way you walk, the way you f-e-e-l that entices the eyes of the right people you need in your life. 

Sexy is your own personal definition and brand of being and if that is sticking on a pair of fishnets and heels then so be it but if wearing slouchy flannel sweatpants and a sports bra makes you feel insane then more kudos to you! 



What goes on inside behind the adornments and attire is far sexier and enchanting than amusing through your body. Use your body to your advantage if you so choose to but don't forget that you can just as likely mesmerise with your mind too. 

Love, Sarah

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